Falling Apart
Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash
I feel like everything is falling apart.
That was the text that I received. And immediately, two thoughts came to my mind…
1. I have lived through falling apart. Short of losing a close family member (which is another league of grieving), I think the last leg of our journey cut us down to a place that we qualified for “falling apart.”
2. “Feeling like falling apart” and “falling apart” are two different things that are very important to distinguish from one another.
What struck me as the words danced in my mind between the two scenarios is how often I am not falling apart, but I am embracing the emotions that things truly are that bad. Am I making any sense? Ever been there?
In the middle of us ending our journey of temporary housing and reestablishing roots, you’d think that I’d be thrilled. Elated. Grateful. I should be. And sometimes I am. But… I have also found myself wondering if it was all still going to fall apart. Even when life is good – when we’ve departed the “falling apart” season – we allow ourselves to hold onto the feelings it generated. Often, we simply need to let it go. It’s a new season. Just as good seasons end, so do bad ones.
As I meditated on these two distinct scenarios, I wanted to speak (ok, write) life to anyone in either scenario. First, if it truly is falling apart, allow yourself to acknowledge the pain of that, but don’t allow yourself to stay there. That’s easier said than done, I know. Especially because the true “falling aparts” in life usually impact your close circle and either leave them paralyzed like you, or perhaps absent.
Hear this: Find your second circle. Here’s why…
First, the people who you think can help you bear the weight of the crisis are often not the people who actually do. God may use different people than who you expect, but He will have someone. Don’t reject the person you don’t expect and don’t resent the person who didn’t show up. Life is complicated. Don't waste your precious energy trying to figure it out.
Second, and where most of us are prone to linger, is the place of feeling like it’s falling apart. Feelings are important and they have their place, but that’s way down at the end of the line, past reality. I often find that the feeling, when held up next to truth, is way weaker than it seems. Of course, I can’t figure out how to pay the bills next year. No one is asking me to. Don’t try to figure out next year. I can quote “today has enough worries of its own” again and we’ll all recite it in unison. But it’s still true.
May we start our day and end our day with what’s certain. Start your list, grow it, and repeat it often. Remember what’s steady and good. Count up all the good things. As we’ve sung recently at One City… a million little miracles. If we busy ourselves identifying those, we’ll be less likely to give attention to that little voice that wants us to believe it’s all falling apart. It rarely is.