6000 Days – Part 2

Raising children is such an incredible adventure. Throughout my journey, I’ve been grateful for the friendships I’ve had with women who are a step or two ahead of me raising their children. Today, as I continue from Tuesday’s post, I hope this will serve as a helpful perspective. If you’re earlier in your parenting, you can prepare now. If you’re a grandparent, perhaps this is a way you can help your children with the monumental task of raising godly children in an ungodly culture.What the books and experts say about teenagers shifting their time and source of approval from parents to friends has been fairly accurate for us. While we have solid relationships with both of our children, we can see them beginning to spread their wings. It would be unhealthy if this were not happening. Nonetheless, it does prove to be a little nerve wracking.If you have children in eighth grade or younger, don’t be deceived into thinking they will receive your wisdom and influence to the same degree for the remainder of their time in your home. In reality, there’s a noticeable shift around the ninth grade. Pour in as much wisdom as you can during those first 6000 days. Also, prioritize the relationship so you enter the last 1000 days with strong roots to tolerate the winds of change that are coming.So, what can a parent do to make those last 1000 days a proactive contribution to their teen’s development? Here is my heads up to you: There’s a lot you can do, but some of it is expensive. For all you Dave Ramsey people, start a teenage fund now. Not just a college or a car fund, but a teenage fund.Here’s what I mean… As your children get older, they begin to have a choice as to whether they spend time with you or not. Yes, you can force them to stay home. But I promise that won’t help you accomplish your goals for your children. The goal isn’t to have outward behavior management while they’re under your roof. The goal is to equip them in such a way that when they are no longer under your constant attention, they will make God-honoring decisions.As high school and then driving freedom comes, your student is encountering many firsts. These are the types of firsts you want them to process with you. How do you make sure you continue to have those meaningful conversations? Here are some ideas:

• Pick their favorite restaurant and schedule a weekly family meal there. If you have younger children, make it something just for the older ones, where possible.
• During the summer, schedule a weekly lunch with your daughter.
• Encourage dad to do the same with your son.
• Double dates. When funds are low, we’ve been invited to double date with our son and his girlfriend. We’ll gladly sacrifice somewhere else in the budget to get face-to-face time with two of our favorite people… even if they only want us for our wallet!
• Use 16^th and 18^th birthdays as intentional times.
• Invest in time away. I grew up without taking many vacations. The practical side of me sees dollar signs, but I had to adjust my thinking. The mom in me sees that our time away is a great break in a teenager’s routine. Sometimes we include friends… the right kind of friends. We could send them to the beach with another family –or we could be the ones on-site to make sure our children are in the right type of environment.

We only get one chance to raise each child. Regardless of your income, your teenagers need your influence as they approach adulthood. They need your heart more than your money, but I’m just keeping it real. Sometimes loving them in their love language provides great opportunities for them to be willing to receive wise counsel!