Don't you chop my daughter like that!

"Don't you chop my daughter like that!" were the words I heard shouted by a mother of the opposing team at my daughter's recent lacrosse game. I was a little startled by the comment. Don’t worry – there were no knives involved. It’s a term in reference to a move in lacrosse. Nonetheless, it was not what I expected on this sunny day in Nashville. Once I got over my surprise, I had to smile. It is truly amazing what a little competition can bring out of parents.For the last eleven years, we’ve been in many sports settings. We’ve been at my son’s five-year-old t-ball game, where my puzzled little guy yelled to his daddy, "They already have three outs. Why are they allowed to keep hitting?" Simultaneously, all the mothers were so grateful that everybody got a turn at bat and there were no scores kept that particular season. On the other end of the spectrum, we’ve watched moms in cat fights and coaches blasting a string of expletives that would make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.There are days when I’ve loved sports and days when I’ve loathed them. The term "daddy ball" came about for a reason. How many coaches are trying to extend their dreams through their kids? The truth is, however, this type of behavior is not limited to the court or field. Moms, dads, and leaders can make a mess of dance, theatre, mock trial, etc. If you want to have your children avoid unfairness, competition, or misguided people, the most common alternative is keeping them home where they have access to their electronic devices. Not a great option either.The truth is that my children have learned many valuable lessons through all their extra curricular endeavors. This season, however, I was reminded what it looks like when it’s done right.My daughter joined her school lacrosse team. She had no experience and knew her playing time would be limited. She worked hard and had coaches and players that were committed to helping her become better. Beyond the leadership on the field, the leadership off the field was incredibly encouraging. The upperclassmen have been taught to care for their younger teammates. Hotel roommates were selected by names drawn from a hat, not based on the latest click. Every player was treated as a varsity player, even if she was not. Cell phones were collected on bus rides and at team meals, so genuine community could be built. In the midst of this, one of the coach’s wives has battled breast cancer. No one would’ve thought twice for him to step down. Instead, the girls learned to love better and see a family go through a trial close-up. They have prayed and seen answered prayers.My husband and I reflected the other day how coaches used to be the role models we looked up to as we were growing up. Our experience this spring has renewed our hope that there still are coaches, leaders, musicians, and artists out there, pouring into young men and women to make them better than they would be otherwise.At Highpoint, we say we exist to prove that love works. Whatever field, studio, auditorium, or venue where your life intersects the lives of children, I pray you will see it as an opportunity to build character and encouragement into the next generation. They need it more than ever before. twitter | facebook