Girl Mom Warning

32 on her ACT
34 DD bra size
Athlete
Artist
Brown hair
Blue eyes

A very superficial and worldly description, but most would scan that list and imagine the All-American girl. Indeed, any mother would look at a girl with these attributes and be certain her daughter had it made. However, having recently been introduced to this girl, one of her first descriptions of herself was “loser.”

The battle is real, and moms need to be intentional. How do we fight a world where Snapchatting and posting seem to win the day? Every picture, post, and like is compared to others. Is it cuter than my friend’s? … the popular girl’s? … the famous girl’s? Did it take too long for someone to view? Why hasn’t he followed me?

When we pull back and examine the impact of social media on this generation, we see that the opportunity for self-worth issues is enormous. How do we help our girls move into and through adolescence with their identity in tact?

I definitely didn’t do it perfectly, and each mom must discern what would be most helpful for her daughter. But I’ve seen so many amazing young women negatively impacted, that to not sound the alarm feels irresponsible. We must be intentional to help our daughters become deeply rooted in how God views them.

What can we do?

1. Start young
We lose influence with our children at a younger and younger age, so make the most of those elementary- and middle-school years. Speak life into your girls. Help them to see their strengths and gifts. Help them to build friendships in a faith community. There’s no perfect church or youth group, but there’s a better chance of finding God-honoring friendships here than elsewhere. 

2. Bring others in
Our words only go so far. (Of course my mom thinks I’m smart! Insert eyeroll.) You need reinforcement. Find other women with the same heart posture and find ways for your daughter to connect with them. Be strategic to have friends who you’d want to mentor your daughter and encourage your daughter to build enough of a relationship with them that she’d be comfortable reaching out to them as she gets older. 

3. Reinforce the good
I hate to break it to younger moms, but you can’t control your children’s choice of friends forever! However, you can definitely play a role by encouraging the good you see. If your daughter has a friend who has the character qualities you think will be important in your daughter’s life, spend the extra effort (and even money) to create opportunities for the friendship to grow. Be willing to drive to one more place if it means you’re helping a healthy friendship be strengthened. The investment of your daughter having healthy friendships is worth everything. Also, reinforce the good by making sure your own words continue to speak life into your daughter. She needs to keep hearing how God views her as the world continues to try to bring so many doubts.

It should go without saying that we must engage the battle first and foremost through prayer. So, let’s cover our daughters and be intentional to help them see who God sees.