My Scary Husband
I’m the serious one. I'm not really sure why, but I've been the serious one my entire life. My recent blogs confirm this. So, for a little levity and change of pace I thought I’d do something different. The idea came to me a few weeks ago when Annika had a friend over. Her friend is a fellow Highpointer who has not previously been to our home.In typical teenage fashion, Annika had provided very little details to me of their plans. So, after a few hours, I asked Annika if her friend would be staying for dinner. The response took me back. Annika said that her friend wasn't sure about staying for dinner because she was scared of Chris. Annika reassured her that he really was a normal guy, so dinner was back on.Shortly after this conversation, Chris arrived home and it was time for dinner. I told him of my earlier exchange with Annika and he got a big smile on his face before calling upstairs as loud as he could, "Come have dinner with the scary guy!" We all laughed and I think by the end of the meal she was convinced he wasn’t scary at all.So, I've decided to come up with a list of 10 things you might not know about Chris Conlee. There are definitely aspects of being called to the ministry that are unique, but he gets up with bad breath in the morning just like the rest of us. So, for a little fun…
- When I met Chris at the age of 19, he had never read a book cover to cover.
- When he was 10, he auditioned to be a 10-year-old Elvis in a movie about the life of Elvis. He sang That's All Right for the audition. He got down to the last two contenders but was told at that point that he was too tall for the age of Elvis they needed. (I’m pretty sure he made it that far because he can do the Elvis lip. I’m almost certain the singing was a close second to the height issue!)
- He’s very relaxed about some things, but he’s compulsive about keeping a car and hotel room clean. When we were on sabbatical several years ago, he would repeatedly encourage us to eat any food in the car – no matter how recently we’d been fed – just so we could throw out the wrappers.
- He snores louder than any human being I know. While slightly better in recent days, it typically sounds like small animals are coming to their demise during the course of his sleep.
- Chris is really good with people, but not so much with things. We’ll swap counseling for handyman services any day of the week.
- He must have killed all of his taste buds. You cannot possibly get food spicy enough to bother him. Bring on the jalapeños and hot sauce!
- He believes in semi-annual trimmings. Whether it’s using the weed eater or nail clippers, he’s a force to be reckoned with. He’ll annihilate anything that looks like a weed… or a flower… or a bush. He carries this through to his own hands. You don’t ever want a manicure from this guy – he cuts his nails so short, it’s amazing they ever grow back.
- He acts tough, but he’s terrified of snakes. During college, a fellow teammate thought it would be hysterical to throw a live snake on him while he slept. Chris has never been the same since.
- While he has mad skills on the grill, he's not to be trusted in any other cooking context. He cooks everything on high or broil, convinced it will be ready faster.
- He might be the best dad ever. He recently asked Annika if she wanted to get highlights in her hair, and then proceeded to sit in the salon and keep her company for the entire four hours of the procedure.
This is all in good fun. But if you’re a Highpointer, please know you have a leader who loves Jesus and who loves you… but he has his own quirks just like the rest of us!