Never Say Never

God has done many amazing things, but twice in my life I remember being dumbfounded that God cared so specifically about little ol’ me. The first time God surprised me was after our second child was born. Initially, Chris and I had experienced difficulties getting pregnant. In retrospect, it was a short wait but God used the delay to burden Chris that God gives and takes life. After we conceived our first child, Chris was convicted that we should not use birth control. I can’t say I was excited, but knowing that we both wanted two children made the idea require a little less of my faith to go along.When baby two quickly arrived, it was a game changer. This CEO wanna-be was convinced that she would be barefoot and pregnant her entire life. I had walked away from my fleshly dreams and gladly embraced a life of ministry by now, but this obedience thing was going to cost me more than I had considered. I thought, “I will never get out of this.” I could not think of any Bible verse that Chris would ever come across to change his mind. I prayed and privately battled with my lack of faith and my fear. I was not going to stand in the way of my husband obeying God, but I was sure this would keep me on my knees until menopause! Then one day out of no where, Chris came home and told me that during his priority time God showed him that he needed to give me the gift of enjoying the children we had been blessed with instead of living in fear.

I was blown away by God’s compassion. Never say never.

The second jaw dropper happened this summer. After many years of helping in the life of a church plant, I have finally been able to move to an area of ministry that is in my gifting. Getting to that place stirred some dreams in me that I had put aside. With God affirming my writing and teaching, I began to ask the question if this was the right season to begin intentionally leaning into my interests. With only five years left with our kids at home and knowing the driven part of my personality, I was conflicted. I found myself thinking that the right answer would be to wait. I set aside 6 weeks and asked God to give me clarity on His best.As Chris and I set out on a long drive a few weeks later, he starts telling me of a conversation he had with our thirteen-year-old daughter. As they had talked, she expressed a desire to focus on becoming a writer and speaker. For some teens, this would be a casual comment, but not Annika. She only speaks what she has fully processed and evaluated. It was at that moment that Chris said, “the most important reason you need to write is to pave a way for Annika to write and allow God to use it as a common bond between you.” Wow, God…. Only you know the path ahead but Annika and I are going to begin an adventure!God will never violate His word for our preferences, but I have been reminded that He is a tender God that knows our hearts. Seek Him in the areas of your greatest fears and desires… He might surprise you!