The Opposite of Complicated
I recently sat with a friend and asked about her father. A smile radiated from her as she said, “He’s the opposite of complicated.” I cannot think of a greater compliment. The fondness I’ve seen her express for her dad over the years makes me love the man who I’ve only chatted with a few times. I wonder if he knows the comfort, warmth, and security that his approach creates?Days later, her response still radiated through my thoughts. What would it look like to live in such a way that caused other people to be encouraged? There are certainly different personality types. There are some people you love to be around because they bring energy. Others bring laughter. There are people who can encourage you to dream bigger and push harder. Every strength can benefit others, but there’s something melodic about someone who would help you feel that all is well.[bctt tweet="Are you the opposite of complicated?"]As anyone who knows me is aware, I can be a very literal person. In a literal way, the opposite of complicated is simple. Very little in this world is described as simple… especially in the world of relationships. As the holidays approach, I’m reminded of how complicated things seem to be for most families. What if you and I asked the Lord for the supernatural grace to love people in such a way that someone could describe our interactions as “the opposite of complicated”?I’m all for practical and specific, so here are 3 ways that you and I can be the opposite of complicated with our families and friends this holiday season:
1. Choose to live in the present.We often bring a record of wrongs and a boat-load of anxiety into family gatherings. We’re already on guard for how it “usually goes.” Our antennas are on high alert, looking for the behavior that frustrated us last year… or for the last decade. Instead, what if we loved them based only on today?
[bctt tweet="What if we loved our families based only on today?"]
2. Leave your expectations at the door.It’s unmet expectations that often leave us feeling like everything’s complicated. If our family had the ability to meet those expectations, they would’ve done so long ago. At some point, we must recognize that they may not have the ability to meet that need. We must trust the Lord to meet the need another way instead of continuing to be disappointed.
3. Ditch conditional love.Conditional love is a contradiction. How is it love if it’s based on someone else earning it or deserving it? There are plenty of people who haven’t treated us right. Luke 6:32 reminds us, “If you love those who love you, what credit is it to you? Even sinners love those who love them.” What if we loved those we come into contact with having no expectation of them owing us love back. Instead, we’re coming to deposit gifts of love.
If we move our perspective from evaluating others and instead decide to proactively spend our energy bringing peace to our gathering, we, too, may be able to become like my friend’s dad. I challenge you to specifically go before the Lord and allow Him to give you what you need to be the opposite of complicated.I'd like to wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving and holiday season from the Conlee family. My blog will resume in January... so until then, I pray you rest well, compliment often, and finish 2015 knowing that love works. The best is yet to come!