Did I Fail?

I spent much of my childhood dreaming of being the next Oprah Winfrey or Donald Trump. My husband spent his childhood and adolescence visualizing himself as the next Fred Couples… (that’s golf, for those of you who skipped Sports Center in the 1990s!). We’re not short on goals in our home. Yet not one of those goals was reached. Did we fail? Are we failures?In my last post, we looked at goals. A recent speaker intrigued me as he talked about the topic of unworthy goals. These are the ones that aren’t worth our time or energy to pursue. In such a driven, results-oriented society, we usually act as if any goal is good. As long as we’re pushing ahead and aren’t lazy, it must be OK, right?Whether your context is as an individual, a family, or a business, this idea of determining an unworthy goal is incredibly valuable. As a college student, I wasn’t familiar with the term. The Lord was, apparently, because He allowed me to see that what I thought I wanted wouldn’t satisfy. Through internships at FedEx and a job at Maybelline, the Lord allowed me to put myself in the very world that I longed to join.If you’re familiar with the bible study I wrote, Miss Perfect, you know the story of me being introduced to Mr Mascara when I worked at Maybelline. The playful title given to my boss said more to me than he ever realized. Was I going to commit thousands of dollars to an MBA and years of my life only to one day be recognized as Mrs Lipgloss? The once admirable journey seemed like a waste of my life.Please note, though, that not every unworthy goal is unworthy to everyone. An unworthy goal for you might be a worthy goal for someone else. Our job isn’t to stand in the role of judge for others; it’s to evaluate our own goals and the motives of our heart. I know someone who wants to be a CEO because she truly wants God to use her as a vessel to financially support causes that further the Kingdom. If that’s the true motive, then it’s a worthy goal.There’s another category of unworthy goals to consider. Andy Stanley gave the example that, as a leader, it’s an unworthy goal to try to remove all tension from your organization. His point was that there are times when tensions have to be managed. There may be two competing values that are both important. For example, you need to have excellence but also be good stewards. These tensions exist in families, too. Perhaps you really want to save money while your husband wants to make great memories with your kids. Both are important. It would be an unworthy goal to be so financially tight that you eliminate any fun. Equally, it would be poor stewardship to go on a trip you can’t afford. Either extreme would be an unworthy goal. Instead, we need to manage the tension of both goals.So, what about your world? Is there a goal you’re striving for that’s setting you up for disappointment? Is there a place where you’re fighting so hard for your goal, when in reality finding an appropriate balance between two goals is the healthier alternative? I'd love to hear your stories… twitter | facebook