The Unintended Exchange
In a recent blog, I mentioned that I’d committed to go to bed by 10:00pm this year and made everyone else in our house miserable in the process. At 9:59pm, you would’ve thought I was Cinderella trying to get home from the ball before the last stroke of midnight… minus the pretty dress, hair, and ability to dance! Any partially made lunch was being slammed in a bag while piles of clothes were overlooked as I raced up the stairs to get under the covers. Too bad if Mark or Annika happened to need their mother at 10:01pm – she was officially off duty. Yes, I can be committed and disciplined to a fault. I guess you can tell!It’s been an excellent reminder that even our strengths can become weaknesses if we aren’t careful. Today, as I was working on my homework for bible study, I came across a statement that I couldn’t shake. The author, Priscilla Shirer, was referencing legalism as she talked about how the Jews took the beauty of the Sabbath and made it something so rule-driven that it lost its intended purpose. Whether it’s the Sabbath or any other instruction that the Lord gives us, it’s completely possible “to become as imprisoned by pride and discontentment as we were before by over commitment and codependency.”I did exactly what the Israelites did. I took something designed to help me and I completely lost the intended purpose. I took pride in becoming disciplined and taking control of my tendency to work too late, and yet I was bringing discontentment to everyone I loved, including myself. Instead of exchanging my bad habit for something healthy, I swapped it for a different struggle.Can you relate? Is there an area in your life that you’re sincerely trying to make right, but the solution is bringing its own set of struggles? Is there a place where you’re falling into the trap of legalism?
- Are you pulling out your hair trying to force your kids to do devotions?
- Do you have so many rules in your home that you need charts to keep up?
- Are you so committed to your budget that you’re constantly at war with your spouse?
I’m all for pouring truth into children, teaching obedience and discipline, and being a good steward. The question isn’t whether these things are good. The question is: have you lost the heart behind what you’re trying to accomplish? Did you accidentally make an unintended exchange?If so, it’s time to step back. What good is it if you get your kids quiet for an evening devo, but everyone in the house is grumpy, including you, as you tell them about God’s love? What good is it if your child is externally obedient but has hardened his or her heart towards you and your 1000 rules? Did God intend for your stewardship to cause conflict?If you’ve lost focus on the true intention, I encourage you to separate the purpose from the method and regroup with a plan that honors the heart of what you want to accomplish. Are you so focused on the letter of the law somewhere in your life that you’ve missed the intent? For me, I had to regroup and change my method.I’d love to hear from you.
- Can you see a place in your life where you’ve seen an unintended exchange?
- Have you been able to make adjustments and change your method?