Hip Hop and Les Mis…..

You may wonder what Hip Hop and Les Miserables have in common... Not much from what I can tell, except that both were being played in my house at the same time this week. If there is ever a picture of the differences between my children, that might be it. Then again, a few days later the subject of a new book came up. Annika was counting down the days until she could read a new release. Curious, Mark asked why she cared so much. She replied, “It will not be the best piece of literature I have ever read, but this is from the author of one of my favorite books when I was younger. You know, it is different when you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of you.”  You can only imagine that a 14-year old boy without a love for literature could not recollect a single book that had ever become a part of him!I have realized that having children of polar opposite personalities, strengths, and opinions is pretty common. Even siblings of the same gender can run on opposite tracks. I grew up with one older sister. Only as we have become adults have we found what we share in common. But as a mom, what do we do when both oil and water live in our homes?  And let’s be honest, most of the time we relate to one better than the other. How do you appreciate the strengths of a child that are so different from yours?I am still learning this one, but one practical step that has had lasting benefit in our home has been to objectively identify our children’s strengths. When our children were 6 and 7, we took them through the Strength Finders test. Chris literally sat down at the computer and read the questions to Annika and entered her answers. Since then they have created children’s versions, but even then the results were strikingly accurate.It was so helpful for each of our children to see what they were naturally good at. It validated them. Suddenly, the part of Mark that is so outgoing and got him in trouble during class for talking had a name and a way that it could be used for God’s glory. We printed out the descriptions of their top five strengths and began praying with our children about them. Mark began to see how his strengths of WOO (Win Others Over), competition, command, and significance could be used for good and how he had to be careful because every strength can be a weakness. Identifying Annika’s strengths of responsibility, belief, intellection, and ideation helped her see her less boisterous personality in a new light. She could more fully embrace God’s purposes within her. As a mom, it also gave me something tangible to look for and compliment. Oil and water actually work pretty well together as long as you know when and where to mix them up!