In Denial about Denial
In 2002, pastor Andy Stanley published a book called Choose to Cheat. The premise of the book was that we all have to “cheat” something, but that we shouldn’t cheat what matters most to us: our family. We frequently give our best to our work or to people we’re trying to please, and we inadvertently leave our spouse or children with the leftovers. We accidentally cheat those we love because there’s simply not enough of us to go around and, either consciously or subconsciously, we think our family will be the most understanding.Sixteen years later, I still remember and agree with the principle. This teaching has shaped many choices Chris and I have made. The reason I remember it so vividly, however, is because the idea initially bothered me. I hated the fact that I couldn’t give everybody what they needed. To say that I cheated something or someone felt like failure to this recovering perfectionist.As I recently read through Matthew’s gospel, I came across this familiar verse:
Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”(Matthew 16:24 ESV)
The 4-letter word deny is usually the word that’s hardest for us to swallow. But then a convicting thought came to me: We all deny. Just like we all cheat. The important question is whether we deny ourselves or whether we deny God. I’ve always processed the verse as having the choice to either deny myself or not. However, when I don’t deny myself, I am by default denying Christ.[bctt tweet="When I don’t deny myself, I am by default denying Christ."]Don’t be mad. I’m not trying to add stress to a life already filled with pressure… quite the opposite. My heart for blogging every week is to normalize the struggles we all have in life and make sure we’re fighting the right battles. The last thing I want is to falsely think I’m living a life that’s pleasing to God, only for Him to see my choices as selfish or man-centered. Isn’t that true for you, too?So, let’s do the hard work of applying God’s truth to our lives…
- How are you denying yourself right now?
- A harder question: Where are you refusing to deny your own agenda? (Stop and ask the Lord.)
- How are you moving past denial and proactively taking up your cross to follow Christ?
It’s one thing to deny ourselves something, but it’s a whole next level of commitment to actively do that which we know will cost us. It’s one thing to stop something bad, but it’s a step further to begin to do what’s right. It’s the picture of the teen who stops making poor choices. That’s the first step, but it’s a whole other level when they replace the harmful with the healthy. In reality, it’s taking the next step of picking up the cross that will protect us and give us the strength to continue to deny ourselves.God is calling each of us to purposefully stop what’s harming us and replace it with what will make us more beautiful, radiant, and holy to our King.